I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
