Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
