plz talk dirty to me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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