Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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