I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Are we still banned from the library?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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