does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
