i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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