the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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