paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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