I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
