I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
