pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
