how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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