My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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