its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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