Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
