That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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