I accidentally had phone sex last night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
