Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
