if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
only if we run a train.
done.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
