i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
