Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
