Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
