do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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