i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
