Barsexuality is the new black.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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