but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
