I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
