he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
