You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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