so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
