I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm both gender and math confused
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