Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
