I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
