Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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