The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
