I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
