Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
