Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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