Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
