When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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