What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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