i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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