i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
