I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize