I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
