Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
