You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
