She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize