i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was confusing and full of hummus
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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