Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
