That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
