when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
