shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
