Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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