Just fell off a train. Bad.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize