So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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