How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
