Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
