Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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